Island state in 1964 merger / SAT 10-15-11 / 1973 Nobel Peace Prize decliner Le Duc / Bibelot / Waveform maximum

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none 

Word of the Day: Leon CZOLGOSZ (35D: Leon ___, McKinley's assassin) —

Leon Frank Czolgosz (Polish pronunciation: [ˈt͡ʂɔlɡɔʂ]; May 1873 – October 29, 1901; also used surname "Nieman" and variations thereof) was the assassin of U.S. President William McKinley. // In the last few years of his life, he claimed to have been heavily influenced by anarchists such as Emma Goldman and Alexander Berkman. [...]
Czolgosz believed there was a great injustice in American society, an inequality which allowed the wealthy to enrich themselves by exploiting the poor. He concluded that the reason for this was the structure of government itself. Then he learned of a European crime which changed his life: On July 29, 1900, King Umberto I of Italy had been shot dead by anarchist Gaetano Bresci. Bresci told the press that he had decided to take matters into his own hands for the sake of the common man. // The assassination shocked and galvanized the American anarchist movement, and Czolgosz is thought to have consciously imitated Bresci. New York police officer Joseph Petrosino believed that the same group had targeted President McKinley, but his warnings were useless, because McKinley ignored them. (wikipedia)

• • •

They're not booing. They're saying "Boo-urns! Boo-urns!" I mean, they're saying "Joooooon!"

The month of Joontober continues as "Jeopardy" champ Joon Pahk brings us his latest puzzle, a very tough Saturday themeless. Themelessish ... the KNICKKNACK (1A: Bibelot) / "KNOCKKNOCK" (65A: 1940 cartoon in which Woody Woodpecker debuted) answers provide the mildest of aesthetic structures. Speaking of mild, I found this puzzle mildly brutal, due almost entirely to a pile of obscure foreignisms. I think I've heard of PASHTO before (47D: Afghani tongue), but putting it right next to the deeply arcane ALTAIC seemed perverse (48D: Language family including Mongolian). You'd think that if you had to put in some recherche language terms, you'd give them some elbow room. Do you know THO? (19A: 1973 Nobel Peace Prize decliner Le Duc ___) I don't know THO. No THO-knower, I. As for CZOLGOSZ, a chipmunk scurrying across my keyboard would've had better chance of getting that one than I did. That's a name that might make a constructor drool, but ... it's not gonna give anyone but the constructor any joy. The constructor and presidential history buffs, maybe.





Since when is the Minotaur an OGRE? Is that a metaphor, like "that Minotaur sure is a mean guy! What an OGRE!" Shrek is an OGRE. The Minotaur is the half-man, half-bull spawn of Pasiphae and some bull she seduced with the cow costume she had made by Daedalus. Yeah, the Minotaur's mean and grumpy and eats Athenian children, but OGRE is a *$&@ing stretch. Also, I thought OUTRÉ just meant weird or unusual, not [Singular]. Most of the rest of the cluing was just hard, not unfair. I'm embarrassed by how long it took me to get UNCLE SAM (13D: Steely-gazed pointer), even after I had UNCLE S in place. For some reason Uncle Fester got in my head and wouldn't get out. Also embarrassed at how long it took me to get CHEETOS when I had -ETOS in place (35A: Frito-Lay product). DORETOS??! Ugh, no. That SW corner was, by far, the toughest for me. Next hardest was the area around DISARMS (39A: Sets at ease), mostly because I didn't have DISARMS. I had ASSURES (which has an unfortunate number of letters in common with DISARMS).

 My friend and fellow constructor ... we'll call him Kwest ... just wrote me: "Uh... I believe there was an error in today's (Saturday's) puzzle. 23-Down is empirically false" (23D: Funny George => LOPEZ). "Would've accepted BURNS or COSTANZA." I added GOBEL.






TINO was my first answer in the grid (16A: 1997 Home Run Derby champion Martinez). ESSEN followed shortly thereafter (25A: Germany's University of Duisburg-___). No idea about ZANZIBAR (40A: Island state in a 1964 merger), but got it by virtue of the very helpful (if not terribly funny) Mr. LOPEZ. Not all the answers were clued Maleska-era-trivia-style. There was some cuteness, like 50A: What a mail carrier might use in self-defense? (LANCE) and 63A: Malady that typically worsens in the spring (SENIORITIS). I don't know my NATO phonetic alphabet from a hole in the ground, so KILO was tough to come up with. [Waveform maximum] sounds like a brand name of bra to me, but I was somehow able to put together CREST. Encountered BABAR today in a very nice piece about the 50th anniversary of "The Phantom Tollbooth" in the New Yorker. I see that this is irrelevant, as the "hero of children's lit" in question is TIN TIN, not BABAR (61D: When repeated, hero of children's lit). Alright then. . . and so to bed.

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Hallucinogenic beverage / WED 7-13-11 / Classic Mike Myers SNL sketch / Lacquered metalware / Legendary football coach Amos Alonzo

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: COFFEE TALK (59A: Classic Mike Myers "S.N.L." sketch ... or an apt title for this puzzle) — Theme answers are familiar two-word phrases where first word is slang for coffee; all clues are coffee-related "?" clues


Word of the Day: BHANG (10D: Hallucinogenic beverage) —

Bhang (Hindi: [...]) is a preparation from the leaves and flowers (buds) of the female cannabis plant, smoked or consumed as a beverage in the Indian subcontinent. (wikipedia)

• • •

This was odd. A very basic theme (first words all have something in common) that in and of itself isn't that exciting. It's fine, for what it is, but awfully straightforward (the "?" clues give it a little added 'zazz, I suppose). The fill, however is anything but straightforward. It's all over the map, good and bad. Love the BALEFUL BOND GIRL (42D: Portending evil + 42A: Maud Adams, twice), and "I DECLARE" is especially fantastic (52A: Southern belle's cry or surprise). But what the hell is going on in the NE. First of all: BHANG? I was sure that was an error. Nutso, if you've never heard of it (and I hadn't). The fact that it's up there with a couple of rather odd names (ALBAN? STAGG?) (12D: Composer Berg + 13D: Legendeary football coach Amos Alonzo ___) makes that section really stand out from all the others, where the fill is more balanced and familiar. LOU ANN is a spelling I've never seen (30A: Gomer Pyle's girlfriend); her last name was POOVIE—put that in your puzzle and smoke it. DR. LAO is a name I'd really really like to never see again (66A: Tony Randall title role). But then I really like HAJJ (1D: Pilgrimage to Mecca) over YEGG (26D: Burglar who really gets cracking?)—a nice unusual final double-letter pair. So there were highs and lows here. Overall, seems like a decent effort was made to spice up a somewhat lackluster theme concept.



Theme answers:

• 17A: Large order of morning drinks? (JOE SIXPACK)
  
• 23A: Activity for a hyperactive barista? (MUD SLINGING)
  
• 47A: Interactive features of starbucks.com? (JAVA APPLETS)
  

Is it hot where you are? It's hot where I am. I just took my laptop downstairs, where it's a good deal cooler than in my normal upstairs workspace. Could just go work in daughter's room (she's away at camp)—it's the only room in the house with A/C—but we're sleeping in there and if I go in there and start writing and then wife wants to go to sleep I have to decamp once again and who needs the hassle. Anyway, it's hot. Hence this random digression.



Here's a potential theme:

• CHRISTIAN BALEFUL
• STEVIE WONDERFUL
• TOMMY TUNEFUL
• Etc. I'm sure there are more possibilities...

OK, the heat is clearly pulling me off task, so I'll move on to Bullets.

Bullets:

• 10A: They're hooked behind the back (BRAS) — mostly true.
  
• 20A: Interim ruling group (JUNTA) — misinterpreted "ruling" as something judges do.

• 26A: Vegetables whose skins may be cooked and eaten separately (YAMS) — never heard of this. Potato skins, sure. Yam skins? Are those part of some regional cuisine?
  
• 8D: Dr Pepper alternative (RC COLA) — these taste nothing alike. May as well make the clue [Sprite alternative] or [Water alternative]. Or [Coffee alternative], for that matter.
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Author/architect Buzzi / SAT 6-18-11 / Franchise Affair novelist / Generative music pioneer / Athlete nicknamed O Rei / Scottish doctor/explorer John

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging

THEME: none


Word of the Day: KNAP (2D: Chip, as flint, in Britain) —

tr.v., knapped, knap·ping, knaps.

1. To break or chip (stone) with sharp blows, as in shaping flint or obsidian into tools.
2. Chiefly British.
   1. To strike sharply; rap.
   2. To snap at or bite.

[Middle English knappen, probably of imitative origin.]

• • •

So here's what typically happens to me at crossword tournaments. I do the easy puzzles quickly, but so do many other people, and so I am not at all distinguished and languish somewhere in the upper-middle part of the pack. Then the puzzles get tougher and I get a little better, comparatively. Then they get brutal, and I start to pull away from the bulk of the pack (you should understand, of course, that there are always a good chunk of people who are faster than me in every way no matter what I do). I Love the hard stuff. Thrive on on it. Why? Don't know. It's not always true. Some Fridays (far more often than Saturdays), I just bomb. Maybe I'm getting good at intuiting the way Will's cluing brain works (though lots of the clues on these things are most certainly original, i.e. created by the constructor, not Will). At any rate, this is a long-winded way of saying that I Destroyed this puzzle (7:49—not a record Saturday, but getting close). I then went to the NYT site to see what people's times were ... and no one had finished. I kept hitting "refresh" and still no times. When they started coming in, I was a good five minutes faster than the fastest times (checking back now, it seems Howard Barkin has beaten me by a solid three minutes. Ha ha. Sic transit gloria). I just had one of those absurd through-the-looking-glass days where luck combines with skill and I turn into a SPEED DEMON (19A: Flooring specialist?) (this clue made me think first of a boxer ...).

I think the place I lucked out was the SE, which seems to me the hardest part of the puzzle by far—and I *knew* EAU DE VIE and EMANANT and RUMPLY. Even with those in place, I got stymied for a bit. I can usually rely on at least one of a bank of short answers falling, but not here. SEWS I eventually guessed ("jumper" didn't fool me for a second, and I know from wife that "jumper" is the British/NZ word for "sweater," which may be why I wanted "KNITS" at first) (51D: Works on one's jumper, say), but the other 4s—pfft. Hopeless. Except ROLE. Which was wrong (56D: Romeo or Juliet=>TEEN). So, back to hopeless. The "lucky" part for me down here was having some strange voice in my head whispering "EVANSVILLE" (58A: City on the Ohio). I couldn't find it on a map. I'm not even sure what state it's in. Indiana? Anyway, the -VA- opening triggered "EVANSVILLE," which I resisted for a bit (see my complete ignorance of any facts about EVANSVILLE, above), but once I tested WINTER and SENATE (having no initial idea what came after either) (TIDE and SEAT, respectively, it turns out; 60A: "Snow-Bound" setting / 51A: One in 100), I guessed EV'RY (52D: "Lift ___ Voice and Sing" (old hymn)), and EVANSVILLE became undeniable. So I eventually got SITE (hard) (53D: Group of pages), ELIS (barely known to me) (54D: Home of the ancient Olympic games), and ALDO (not RUTH?) (55D: Author/architect Buzzi). Usually, solving goes the other way round, from short answers to longer.

Anyway, the NE and SW were easy. Each one was done in a minute or so, possibly less in the case of the SW. Once I guessed PRIM, all the long Downs fell in order. I was helped in the NE by having once seen an episode of "BRIDEZILLAs" on TLC or whatever horrid relentless non-stop reality network it was on (I'm a recovering reality TV watcher) (13D: Certain control freak). In the NW, where I started, I lucked out in that, coincidentally, I had seen the word PALLIATIVE earlier in the day, in an email from a fan/reader. So I went SUPS => PALLIATIVE almost instantly (1D: Takes night courses? / 17A: Providing relief, but not a cure). Got ARID in there, which got me UNDERLINED, and I was making headway! In the end, half my time was spent in the SE, half my time everywhere else.



Not surprisingly, the NE and SW corners are stronger than the rest of the puzzle. 3x10s are easier to fill well than 4x10s are. Overall, I liked the puzzle fine. The SE was a little on the arcane side, but the rest was mostly smooth and lively.

Bullets:

• 20A: Poetic work with an account of Ragnarok (EDDA) — Old Norse legends written down in 13th-century Iceland. As a medievalist, I have some familiarity with this stuff; however, today, I never saw the clue.
  
• 22A: "The Franchise Affair" novelist (TEY) — Josephine TEY. If she were still well known today, we'd see her name in the grid a lot more often, I think.
  
• 32A: ESPN reporter Andrews (ERIN) — I used her in a clue once a while back, I think. She's late-week material, beating Ireland and Moran for general difficulty level.
  
• 39A: Scottish doctor/explorer John (RAE) — essential crosswordese, just like AVILA (41A: Teresa's home) and ENO (27D: Generative music pioneer).

• 4D: Athlete nicknamed "O Rei" (PELE) — I should've guessed Portuguese, but somehow I was stuck on Spanish and considered SOSA and AROD first :(
• 10D: Its entrance was barred with a flaming sword (EDEN) — pretty easy, even if you have to guess. Four letters, "you can't come (back) in" ... not hard to get to EDEN.
  
• 23D: 1811 battle site (TIPPECANOE) — I got this more because I had -IPPE- in place than because I know much about history.
  
• 30D: Sch. whose alumni constitute the Long Gray Line (USMA) — figured it was military; just a question of "M" or "N" for me.
  
• 44D: Largely green kingdom (PLANTS) — figured it wasn't a kingdom like NEPAL is a kingdom, but definitely expected something more technical-/Latin-sounding than PLANTS.
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

Tech-savvy 24 woman / THU 6-9-11 / Band with three self-titled albums / Decorative neckline insert / Brand with torch in logo / Twangy-sounding guitar

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: Jay-Z — Familiar phrases have "J" sounds turned to "Z" sounds, creating wacky phrases, which are clued "?"-style


Word of the Day: TICO (64A: New Zealand : Kiwi :: Costa Rica : ___) —

Tico is a colloquial term for a native of Costa Rica. The plural form is ticos. // Costa Ricans are usually referred to as ticos by themselves and persons of other Spanish-speaking countries, instead of using the more-formal costarricense. Some dictionaries show the formal name as costarriquenses. (wikipedia)

• • •

I really, really wish JAY-Z had been in this puzzle. With all those Zs floating around, you'd think you could make it work. But no big deal, this was still an entertaining puzzle, and a nice counterpoint to yesterday's gimmick puzzle. The theme here is not earth-shattering—it's a simple sound-switch. But the theme answers are at least moderately funny, and the fill—with the exception of TICO and VESTEE (40D: Decorative neckline insert), which I can only imagine are here because Joon got understandably enamored of WEEZER (56A: Band with three self-titled albums (1994, 2001 and 2008) and OZZIE (52D: Smith in Cooperstown)—is solid and smooth throughout, with some very nice little moments. I particularly liked the epic column formed by OSTRACIZE (11D: Freeze out) and TIMEZONE (10D: China has only one), and I don't know why, but MAIN ST. somehow struck me as clever (34A: Sign in the middle of town). I enjoyed uncovering it, at any rate. Some of the cluing was slippery, which I suppose it had to be to get this one up to a Thursday level of difficulty. Had the most trouble with 57D: Head of cabbage?: Abbr. (CFO), which I got entirely from crosses. Dawned on me only later that "cabbage" = slang for "money," and CFO = "Chief Financial Officer," so ... tada. Couldn't make heads or tails of 37A: Selma Lagerlöf's "The Wonderful Adventures of ___" ("NILS"). No idea who she is or what this is. None. Seems she was the first woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature (1909). That's a much tougher clue for NILS than [Guitarist Lofgren], for sure. But even the occasional stumper of a clue didn't cause much slowness today—finished in well under 6 minutes; not a record Thursday for me, but well below average.



Theme answers:

• 17A: Greek god of fake tans? (ORANGE ZEUS)
  
• 24A: "Galifianakis wants you to call him back?" ("PHONE ZACH")
  
• 38A: Madhouse at a G.O.P. convention? (CONSERVATIVE ZOO) — I was surprised by this answer, though I'm not sure why. A "conservative Jew" is certainly a thing. I've seen sensitivity from some of my readers when the word JEW appears, in just about any context. But this answer is innocuous, I think. Nothing like, say, JEWFRO (which I also think is innocuous, but which was not seen that way by many that one time it appeared in the NYT puzzle).
  
• 48A: Informal erotic reading? (BLUE 'ZINES) — I don't think of "formality" as the issue where 'ZINES are concerned. 'ZINES are cheaply and independently produced, but the writing / content can be any quality whatsoever. Anyway, what is "formal" erotic reading? "Black Tie Swingers!"?
  
• 59A: Famous Amos, e.g. (COOKIE CZAR) — "CZAR" appears to be making a comeback. Seems like it had been a while since I'd seen it, and now twice this week.
  

Is TINA Brown on a quest to edit every magazine in existence? Is Dog Fancy next? Today's clue has her with Newsweek/The Daily Beast. Wasn't she at The New Yorker at one point? And maybe Vanity Fair? I did not know that Newsweek and The Daily Beast were merging to form The Newsweek Daily Beast Company (a terrrrrrible name—I suggest "NewsBeast"). Interesting. I'd forgotten about CHLOE because I stopped watching "24" many years ago, but I always really liked her character (26D: Tech-savvy "24" woman). My very good friend in high school—a girl I'd known since 2nd grade, and on whom I had a crush for the better part of freshman and sophomore years—grew up to marry a professional DOBRO player (28A: Twangy-sounding guitar). He seems to be exceedingly successful. I haven't seen or heard from her in ages. Why am I telling you all this!?


Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter and Tumblr]

Aptly named sprinter Usain / MON 4-25-11 / Logan Airport luggage letters / Old Spice alternative / Old Testament priest who taught Samuel

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Medium

THEME: BOS (72A: Logan Airport letters ... and a hint to 17-, 27-, 49- and 64-Across) — theme answers are three-word phrases where the three words start with B, O, and S, respectively


Word of the Day: Usain BOLT (11D: Aptly named sprinter Usain) —

Usain St. Leo Bolt, OJ, C.D. (nicknamed Lightning Bolt, pronounced /ˈjuːseɪn/; born 21 August 1986), is a Jamaican sprinter and a three-time World and Olympic gold medalist. He is the world record and Olympic record holder in the 100 metres, the 200 metres and (along with his teammates) the 4 x 100 metres relay. He is the reigning World and Olympic champion in these three events. (wikipedia)

• • •

I'm guessing this is supposed to be some kind of nod to the Boston Crossword Tournament, which took place yesterday. The theme is OK, I guess, though I really Really didn't care for BARACK OBAMA, SR. as an answer (49A: The father in "Dreams From My Father"). It's his name, but "SR." as a "word" is weak, and that answer isn't anywhere close to the others in terms of being a self-standing, common phrase. I was sure I had an error when I saw the answers ended "SR"; thought "what the hell kind of crazy name does that guy have?" Other than that, puzzle is fine. I never saw the theme-revealer and so had LETTING OFF STEAM at 64A: Venting (BLOWING OFF STEAM). This gave me BLTS for 54D: Common lunchbox sandwiches, informally, which seemed (and was) wrong (it's PBJS, which is better, but not by much).

Theme answers:

• 17A: Rossini opera about Figaro, with "The" ("BARBER OF SEVILLE")
  
• 27A: Hollywood headliner (BOX OFFICE STAR) — maybe go "BOX OFFICE SMASH" (better, more common phrase) and then ditch the OBAMA answer for another 15? Or just stick with three 15s. Nothing wrong with that.
  
• 49A: The father in "Dreams From My Father" (BARACK OBAMA, SR.)
  
• 64A: Venting (BLOWING OFF STEAM)

There is something about 51D: Bank no. (ACCT.) I don't like. It's a common clue/answer pair, but I think of the ACCT. has having a number, not being a number. "What's your ACCT. no.?" If the ACCT. was the no., why would the phrase "ACCT. no." exist?

My favorite clue of the day is 18D: Vitamin whose name could be a bingo call. The answer, B SIX, is among my least favorite answers, however. Never that fond of the written-out number that you never see written-out in real life.

Bullets:

• 10D: Old Testament priest who taught Samuel (ELI) — not used to seeing the biblical clue. Just the semi-biblical clue (Denzel Washington movie "The Book of ELI") and, you know, Wallach and Manning and what not.
  
• 11D: Aptly named sprinter Usain (BOLT) — because he likes to eat. A lot.
  
• 59D: Old Spice alternative (AFTA) — an after (AFTA) shave, I think. Change "F" to "R," rearrange letters, and get another common shaving-related crossword answer.
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]
[Rex Parker's Tumblr feed]

King of Tartary in Turandot / SAT 3-12-11 / Marquand title character / Tiger's successor computerwise / Nickname Mahattan jail / Bathing resort Lahn

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging


THEME: none

Word of the Day: APLEY (9D: Marquand title character) —

The Late George Apley is a 1937 novel by John Phillips Marquand. It is a satire of Boston's upper class. The title character is a Harvard-educated WASP living on Beacon Hill in downtown Boston. // The book was acclaimed as the first "serious" work by Marquand, who had previously been known for his Mr. Moto spy novels and other popular fiction. It was a bestseller and won the Pulitzer Prize for the Novel in 1938. An article in The New Yorker decades later called the book the "best-wrought fictional monument to the nation's Protestant elite that we know of." (wikipedia)

• • •

Very tough for me, possibly because I'm solving it at 2am after having fallen asleep around 9pm (?!), but possibly also because it was simply tough. I wish there had been somewhat fewer odd / obscure proper nouns, both because I wouldn't have floundered the way I did, and because I think odd/obscure proper nouns are icky and should be kept to a minimum. I was at a complete loss on RENI (5D: Painter of the "Crucifixion of St. Peter" in the Vatican), APLEY, BREA (11D: City next to Fullerton) and TIMUR (28A: King of Tartary in "Turandot")—the last one by far the most obscure, as well as the most unfortunate (crossing, as it does, another odd, albeit somewhat more familiar, proper noun in "ULALUME" (12D: Poem set "in the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir")—I have a Ph.D. in English and I'm only vaguely familiar with that poem title; there is precisely nothing inferrable about the name, making this cross a guaranteed knee-breaker for some people, since you can't really infer the "M" in TIMUR either). I took care of RENI from crosses, but APLEY's proximity to BREA and TIMUR, as well as my completely blanking on SAMISEN (even with -A-ISEN in place) (7D: Its three strings are plucked with a bachi) meant that the NE took a long time to come into focus. The upside of that particularly nightmare was that the big reveal, the "AHA" moment, was OSCAR BUZZ (6A: It's generated for high-quality pictures). Nice, bold, surprising way to finish off a puzzle. Once those "Z"s were in place, it was all over. Only way I overcame my DEAD STOP (38A: Brake-slamming result) in the NE was by running the alphabet at the first letter of SAMISEN—it worked; I hit the "S," remembered the "M," got I'M ALL EARS (after wanting only I CAN DIG IT) and OSCAR BUZZ, and that was that.



I still can't believe I threw down HARPER LEE effortlessly ... and it did virtually Nothing for me in the NE (16A: Lifelong friend of Truman Capote).

Beginning was more auspicious, with LASER (1A: Kind of beam), EXILE (15A: What many are forced to live in), and AXL ROSE (2D: Frontman on the 2008 rock album "Chinese Democracy") coming straight away. Couldn't work across the top and so went down the coast. After changing SONS to SEED (31D: Progeny) and GETS AT IT to GETS IT ON (30A: Begins brawling), the SW was fairly easy to get into—but then again I own a Mac (that runs Snow LEOPARD) (35D: Tiger's successor, computerwise) and I follow the N.F.L. reasonably closely (got DREW BREES off the "W"). Stalled out trying to exit the SW, so went over and rebooted in the SE with the quick 1-2-3 of TIER / TE AMO (later changed to TI AMO) / AMPLE. Barely heard of TRIMSPA (39D: Big name in weight-loss supplements), but crosses were easy to come by, so no sweat. Changed HARD STOP to DEAD STOP (38A: Brake-slamming result), and ended up in the mean NE. Ugh, BAD EMS (32A: Bathing resort on the Lahn River), why did you have to be right under TIMUR?? And why did you have to abandon my mind completely? I think that when I'm tired / disoriented (as I seem to be when I solve just after waking), my proper noun recall is horrrrrrrible. That's my theory, anyway. Frustration aside, I enjoyed the challenge, and thought the grid had some really nice fill.

Embarrassed how long it took me to get "SILENT T," considering I watch "The Colbert Report" every night (or, rather, every morning, thanks to TiFaux, aka the DVR) (3D: "The Colbert Report" ends with one).

Bullets:

• 17A: Crazy, in rap slang (ILLIN') — uh ... wow. Yes. In precisely one song that can recall. From high school ("Today you won a ticket to see Dr. J!"):

• 33A: Issachar's uncle (ESAU) — now there's an ESAU clue I've never seen before...
  
• 42A: Exercise done while pedaling (ETUDE) — I had TRADE at first. See if you can figure out how I got there...
  
• 43A: Nickname for a Manhattan jail, with "the" (TOMBS) — no idea. Guessed it from the "T" and "M" (seemed a suitably depressing moniker)
  
• 1D: Battle of Nations site, 1813 (LEIPZIG) — again, no clue. Saw it only by entertaining the possibility of ZONE at 22A: Court area.
  
• 8D: Accessory popularized by Louis XIV (CRAVAT) — you know that lyric from Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" that goes "you had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte?" I always thought it was "... you watched your silk CRAVAT," which would make for a suspiciously odd fixation on neckwear considering the song has already observed at that point that "your scarf it was apricot" ... but I heard what I heard.

And then there's this...

• 34D: Lands around mansions (DEMESNES) — DOMAINS... doesn't fit! I know this word, so I really should have gotten it sooner than I did.
  
• 43D: Capital whose central plaza is Skanderbeg Square (TIRANE) — got it of the -ANE, though to be honest I wrote in TISANE, which I believe is some kind of tea drink. Never saw the clue at 54D: 43-Down's place: Abbr. (ALB.).
• 36D: Lee who advised Reagan and Bush (ATWATER) — one of the first political operative names I ever remember learning. What I remember is that he died of a brain tumor, and that he played guitar.
  
• 47D: One going off on somebody? (PAGER) — not in this century. I had LUGER!
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

P.S. in case you missed it yesterday, Angela Halsted and I made yesterday's Guest Puzzle at BEQ's website—check it out. (It's a double-rejectee! Rejected once for not "tickling" the editor, and another time for having a theme answer that was simply deemed not famous enough)

NFL commentator Phil / SUN 1-16-11 / Train track beam / Christine Phantom of the Opera heroine / Literary title character from planet Antiterra

Constructor: Joon Pahk

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: "A River Puns Through It" — phrases that pun on the names of well-known world rivers


Word of the Day: Phil SIMMS (1D: N.F.L. commentator Phil) —

Phillip Martin "Phil" Simms (born November 3, 1954) is a former American football quarterback, and currently a television sportscaster for the CBS network. After a standout career at Morehead State University, Simms was drafted in the first round by the New York Giants of the National Football League (NFL) with the number seven selection overall in the 1979 NFL Draft. Simms played his entire professional career with the Giants and was named Most Valuable Player (MVP) of Super Bowl XXI, after he led the Giants to a 39–20 victory over the Denver Broncos and set the record for highest completion percentage in a super bowl, going 22 for 25. He also was named to the Pro Bowl for his performances in the 1985 and 1993 seasons. // He finished his career with 33,462 passing yards and has since gone on to a career broadcaster of NFL games—first as an analyst for ESPN, then as a in-game color commentator with NBC, and currently with CBS. He is the father of quarterback Chris Simms and former University of Louisville and current University of Tennessee quarterback Matt Simms. (wikipedia)

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I tried to make I-RAIL (125A: Train track beam) my Word of the Day, but no matter how I googled it, I couldn't find a single definition, so ... Phil SIMMS, which is timely, as he's on TV this weekend covering the N.F.L. playoffs (go Lions!). Crafty clue, as SIMMS is famous primarily for his quarterbacking, not his commentating. As for the meat of the puzzle—actually enjoyed most of the puns, and really love how the topmost and bottommost theme answers break across two answers like that. Title gave a little too much away, I think, though the title itself is a pun, so ... I mean, how could you resist? Wanted YALU in the YANGTZE answer (forgetting, apparently, that YALU is Korean), and then wanted URAL in the NEVA answer—so much so that even after I got the NEVA answer, my brain still registered it as the URAL answer, and so when it came time to put URAL in the grid in a non-theme answer (115D: Risk territory east of Ukraine), I balked. Fill was mostly solid on this one, though there was some ... let's say, creative, short stuff. Still baffled by I-RAIL. SO TOO gets a weird partial clue, when I think it could simply be clued [Likewise]. MACHI looks silly unless/until you parse it correctly, MACH I (76A: Speed of sound). HOGWARTS is a lovely longer answer (86D: School whose motto is Latin for "Never tickle a sleeping dragon"), and KEYDETS (really!?) is probably my favorite revelation of the day (130A: V.M.I. athletes).

If there is one answer I would like to ban from all puzzles everywhere from now to the end of time, it's DAAE (40D: Christine ___, "The Phantom of the Opera" heroine). It is the epitome of terrible. There's only one clue for it, it's a proper noun, it looks insane/completely made up. I don't even know what language / planet it's from. What the hell kind of name is that??? How's it pronounced? Da-EYE? DAY-ee? Oh, apparently there's an accent aigu on the "É," so "Dah-AY," I guess. I've seen it once before, which is the only reason I didn't go crazy in that little section trying desperately to figure out what I had wrong. Initially had TREE over BEA in that section, which created all kinds of mess.

Please note the return of former Words of the Day GOLGI (84D: ___ apparatus (cell organelle)) and LILI (she came back fast!—61A: "I Shot Andy Warhol" actress).

Theme answers:

• 23A: With 24-Across, why a Midwest river has so many tributaries? (MISSOURI / LOVES COMPANY)
  
• 35A: Fop who makes idle sketches of a Chinese river? (YANGTZE DOODLE DANDY)
  
• 48A: "If you don't meet my demands within 24 hours, I"ll blow up a Russian river" ("TOMORROW NEVA DIES") — that clue does not work. There's simply nothing conditional about the answer.
  
• 66A: Life vest worn on a Korean border river? (YALU JACKET)
  
• 71A: Piranhas in a German border river? (ODER EATERS) — I kind of love how I get to put all these horrid little four-letter crossword rivers to somewhat more interesting use.
  
• 92A: Request to an Alaskan river to return to its headwaters? (YUKON GO HOME AGAIN)
  
• 100A: Aggressive posturin' on an English river? (THAMES FIGHTIN' WORDS) — my favorite pun of the lot
  
• 120A: With 123-Across, what minor rivers of Pakistan say at their junctions? ("WE'RE ALL INDUS / TOGETHER")
  

Bullets:

• 8A: Cookie with a geographical name (MILANO) — tasty Pepperidge Farm product.
• 46A: Literary title character from the planet Antiterra (ADA) — I had no idea this (Nabokov) novel was about an alternative earth. Also had no idea that incest figured so prominently. "From the planet" is a weird phrase, since it sort of implies that she's come "from" there "to" somewhere else. I don't think that's the case. Clearly I haven't read it, but it seems like the whole book takes place on Antiterra.
  
• 85A: Stand-up guy? (NO-SHOW) — great clue.
  
• 126A: Channel crosser Gertrude (EDERLE) — one of the more important 6-letter crossword names. Not terribly common, but common enough that I a. learned her from crosswords, and b. have found that knowledge useful.
  
• 4D: Priests' changing room (VESTRY) — strangely, I don't think I knew that's what a VESTRY was.
  
• 5D: U2 collaborator on "Passengers: Original Soundtracks 1" (ENO) — I am not familiar with that particular U2 work. According to wikipedia: "Original Soundtracks 1 (also known as Original Soundtracks) is a 1995 album recorded by U2 and Brian Eno, as a side project, under the pseudonym Passengers. It is a collection of songs written for mostly imaginary movies (the exclusions being songs for Heat, Ghost in the Shell, Miss Sarajevo, and Beyond the Clouds)."

• 8D: Illinois home of Black Hawk College (MOLINE) — needed virtually every cross here. This town rings a bell only Very faintly.
  
• 25D: Shield border, in heraldry (ORLE) — don't think this needs "in heraldry." You know ORLE or you don't know ORLE. Other words in the supercrosswordese round-up include NERO (36D: Last Julio-Claudian emperor) and STOL (101D: Acronym for a small-runway aircraft). NERO was also a character in the 2009 "Star Trek," which also featured Capt. James T. KIRK (70D: 2009 sci-fi role for Chris Pine).
  
• 54D: Father, as a mudder (SIRE) — Nice Alan Shermanesque clue.

• 88D: Rock, in modern lingo (WEAR) — great, contemporary clue.

["Rock my Adidas, never rock Fila!"]

Thanks to everyone who made financial contributions to this website during the past week. The snail mail has been especially fascinating. You people live in all kinds of crazy places and have a wide variety of stationery. Many of the notes were really quite thoughtful and touching. I can only hope the folks reading in syndication are as interesting (not to mention generous).

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

PS the Fifth Annual Silicon Valley Puzzle Fest will be taking place about two weeks from now (Jan. 29-30, 2011) at the Morgan Hill Library in Morgan Hill, CA. It includes a full day of puzzle workshops on Saturday (one of which, "Diagramless & Acrostic Puzzles," is being run by Tyler Hinman), and both Sudoku (ugh) and Crossword (yay) tournaments on Sunday. Kids are especially welcome, and there are workshops especially for them. Get more information here.