German port on Weser / TUE 7-26-11 / Kid-lit elephant / Jan Brady player on Brady Bunch / Early Ron Howard role / Bridge maven Sharif

Constructor: Michael Black

Relative difficulty: Medium-Challenging (*for a Tuesday*)

THEME: Road Sign Colors — answers are road signs, clued solely via their colors


Word of the Day: Catherine PARR (43D: Henry VIII's sixth, Catherine ___) —

Catherine Parr (Katherine, Kateryn, Katheryne or Kathrine); 1512 – 5 September 1548) was Queen consort of England and Ireland and the last of the six wives of King Henry VIII of England. She married Henry VIII on 12 July 1543. She was the fourth commoner Henry had taken as his consort, and outlived him. She was also the most-married English queen, as she had a total of four husbands. (wikipedia)

• • •

So it's just road signs, with the added little bonus that they are all different colors (hence the unusual and slightly tougher-than-usual theme answer cluing). Pretty good idea for an early-week puzzle, with interesting longish fill throughout. A bit unusual to have so many Across answers be as long as or longer than so many Across theme answers—MAKE A BET, DIET SODA, EVE PLUMB (my favorite answer; 44A: Jan Brady player on "The Brady Bunch"), and LONE STAR are all the same letter count as DEER XING and HOSPITAL, and much longer, of course, than EXIT and STOP. Usually, theme answers are the longest answers in the puzzle. Occasionally a Down answer (assuming the theme answers run Across) is as long as or longer than the shortest theme answer. This is just convention, but it's one that I like. Keeps the theme answers distinct; separates them from the rest of the herd; gives them pride of place. But no big deal.


Bigger concern is the pangram (use of every letter of the alphabet). All I can think of when I see a pangram is "I wonder how much better this grid *could've* been if the constructor hadn't tried to pull off such a bush-league stunt." Thankfully, today, the grid is at worst average, so there's no obvious casualty of the pangram—made me suffer through JOS and IZE, but I guess I can handle that. WHOA, I take that back. That damned "C"—I was wondering why there's that terrible REC / DECI- cross, and at first I thought it was the nearby "X"'s fault, but there's already an "X" in the theme answer DEER XING, so that "X" wasn't necessary for the pangram. But, it turns out, the "C" was. If you have to go REC / DECI- to pull off your little pangram, It Is Not Worth It. Just Say No.

Here's Liz Gorski on crossword pangrams — all you need to know.

Theme answers:

• 17A: [White] (SPEED LIMIT)
  
• 26A: [Yellow] (DEER XING)
  
• 37A: [Green] (EXIT)
  
• 40A: [Red] (STOP)
  
• 53A: [Blue] (HOSPITAL)
  
• 64A: [Orange] (MEN WORKING)
  

Got slowed down, fittingly, by DEERXING, esp. as it was crossed with the mystifying (at first) TRAD. (21D: Like much folk music: Abbr.). Also went with SOUP for STEW (16A: Bouillabaisse, e.g.) and SHORES for SHOALS (48D: Lighthouse locales). I don't think Better Than EZRA has had a hit this century, and they had only a handful in the last, so they hardly seem like a Tuesday-level clue (70A: Rock's Better Than ___). That said, I got that answer instantly.

Bullets:

• 28A: Without a time limit, as a contract (OPEN END) — no "-ED" on the end?
  
• 57A: Professional with an apron (BAKER) — Had "B-KER" and reluctantly wrote in "BIKER"...

• 4D: German port on the Weser (BREMEN) — also feels Harder Than Tuesday (that's the name of my Better Than Ezra cover band)
  
• 14A: Bridge maven Sharif (OMAR) — too bad you can't really hide "Sharif" behind a misdirection. I mean, if your clue were [Cheese lover Sharif] or [Philatelist Sharif], I would still plunk OMAR in the grid, instantly.
  

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

Cube-hopping character in 1980s arcade game / TUE 3-8-11 / Soaks as flax / Our planet to Berliner / Old TWA hiree / Kid-lit elephant

Constructor: Paul Hunsberger

Relative difficulty: Easy-Medium

THEME: WEST (69A: The half of the keyboard on which all of this puzzle's answers can be typed)


Word of the Day: Q-BERT (8D: Cube-hopping character in a 1980s arcade game) —

Q*bert (pronounced /ˈkjuːbərt/) is an arcade video game developed and published by Gottlieb in 1982. It is a platform game that features two-dimensional (2D) graphics. The object is to change the color of every cube in a pyramid by making the on-screen character jump on top of the cube while avoiding obstacles and enemies. Players use a joystick to control the character. // The game was conceived by Warren Davis and Jeff Lee. Lee designed the titular character based on childhood influences and gave Q*bert a large nose that shoots projectiles. His original idea involved traversing a pyramid to shoot enemies, but Davis removed the shooting game mechanic to simplify gameplay. Q*bert was developed under the project name Cubes, but was briefly named Snots And Boogers and @!#?@!? during development. // Q*bert was well received in arcades and by critics, who praised the graphics, gameplay and main character. The success resulted in sequels and use of the character's likeness in merchandising, such as appearances on lunch boxes, toys, and an animated television show. The game has since been ported to numerous platforms. (wikipedia)

• • •

This was pretty dreadful. It's a stunt puzzle that offers no joy for the solver. None. What joy is there in this kind of fill? Am I supposed to clap at the end that you've restricted yourself to half the alphabet (when that half includes RSTEA)? The resulting fill is of limited interest, at best, and repulsive at worst. Junky abbrevs. like SERV and BRAZ and STRS, ugh. At least four "A"-containing partials ... or rather, two *crossing* pairs of such partials (ARAW w/ ARAT, SETSA w/ ATASTE), something called a TREATER, RETS (!) (64D: Soaks, as flax), the crosswordesey ERBE and ERDE (43A: Our planet, to a Berliner). To say I'm AVERSE to this kind of joyless concoction is an understatement. The long answers are decent enough (esp. STEWARDESS—10D: Old TWA hiree—and STARGAZERS—30D: Astronomers ... or daydreamers), but ... no. This fish should've been thrown back.

• Wife: "Is 69A WEST?"
• Me: "Yes."
• Wife: "But what if your keyboard's not oriented that way?"
• Me: "The direction is relative to you."
• Wife, indignantly: "Directions aren't related to you, they're related to the globe. LEFT or RIGHT I'd buy, but not WEST."
  
• Me (to myself): "Weird. That didn't bother me ..."

Theme answers:

• All of them
  

At least the puzzle made the effort to contain all available letters ... so I guess it's *kind* of a pangram? TADA?! (16A: "And ... there you have it!").

See you tomorrow,

Signed, Rex Parker, King of CrossWorld

[Follow Rex Parker on Twitter]

P.S. my friend made this grid this morning in about an hour. I told him it didn't have the magic word, "WEST," so ... fail! Still...